Love is not sex, Sex is not love.

I see many relationships putting too much attention on the possibility of sex being outside of the relationship and not enough on the inside of the relationship. People ask me that if sex is not kept special between me and my partner what do we have that is special? My response is that if all you have that is special in your relationship is sex, then you have a problem in your relationship. There is so much more to a healthy relationship. My partner can gently run his fingers across my skin in a way that makes me feel at peace. Another guy could do this same thing, but it would not feel the same and it would not have the same effect, not to mention that to me crosses the line. This is just an example. But to continue, my partner and I can see something as we drive down the road and we both can start laughing, yelling, or basically have the same reaction and we do not even need to mention what we are talking about because the other one just knows. We click on levels completely above the range of sex that sex is able to be more of an open minded time for exploration. My partner knows exactly how to make my coffee, I do not need to tell him. If my coffee ingredients are not in the correct containers this bugs me. I do not have to tell my partner this. Other people do not get these little details. This is love. This is more than just sex. These are the things that are special because they are untouchable. No one can be penetrate that special. Sex on the other hand is an area where change and experimentation should be encouraged, and what most people do not realize is that this is not a time in which people are supposed to let go of their insecurities with just one person, because most often people are not on the same level like they like to believe. One person might want to try a certain sexual engagement, something that excites them, while their partner does not have any interest, or worse has negative feelings toward it. Well yes there is compromise, do not make the other person do something they are not comfortable with, but at the same time it is not right to expect the person who has the interest to just ignore the interest or accept without frustration that they will either never get to try it, or are not allowed to do it. It is things like this that causes people to stray away sexually. It is normal for people to want to try things out, and when they are told they cannot do it ESPECIALLY when it is not illegal and many others are doing it, they feel even more so that they are missing out on something great, and resentment builds up. Its a bad circle. For me, my partner knows my limitations and my boundaries and visa versa. If I have a desire to try something new or something he is not interested in I am able to find someone with the same interest, just as he is, and neither of us have jealousy or judgment on it. We have our rules yes, but we believe whole heartedly that if sex was going to cause a problem in our relationship, it is because other parts of our relationship are not being kept healthy.