Exhibitionism vs. Exhibitionistic Disorder-- Which am I?

According to "The Merck Manual For Health Care Professionals" (2010-2013), "For some people, exhibitionism is expressed as a strong desire to have other people watch their sexual acts. What appeals to such people is not the act of surprising an audience but rather of being seen by a consenting audience. People with this form of exhibitionism may make pornographic films or become adult entertainers. They are rarely troubled by this desire and thus may not have a psychiatric disorder." (Exhibitionism). I found this ironic. I enjoy exhibitionism. I have been an exhibitionist before I knew what exhbitionism was or that it originally was considered a paraphiliac disorder. However, I do not become aroused by the idea of kids watching me, or the elderly watching me. I also prefer to have the shock value, that is one of the most enticing parts of being an exhibitionist. I love shock value. In fact the idea of having a consenting audience is less than a turn on. I cannot feel I have reached my desired level of dopamin if I ask people if they would consent to me exposing myself. I prefer them to be shocked. I have though definitely falling into this category by the fact that I am an adult entertainer who makes videos of my exhibitionist activities. But even though I make them and sell to consenting adults, I would not be happy with the product I produced if it were all staged for the video. I prefer real. oddly enough though, exhibitionism is a form of foreplay for me. I am more excited to become nude or masturbate in a public setting than I am to have sex in that public setting because I need the arousal from performing an exhibitionistic act in order to enjoy public sex. I cannot just have sex in public to reach my desired goal. However I can as long as I have spent significant time using it as foreplay first. However I am not at all troubled by my desire for public exposure, and I have complete control over it. The "Hypersexual Disorders" (2013) website explains that the DSM 5 has changed the criteria for exhibitionism to be considered a disorder. " exhibitionist must either experience harm from his or her behavior or inflict harm in some way on others." Well I do not cause harm to others, and I consider the audience before making the choices to expose myself. For example I do not chose children, I do not choose religious areas (mainly because as I have seen only from personal experience, that those who are religious are often unable to keep themselves emotionally stable without believing in some higher deity that supposedly holds their life wrapped in bubble wrap for protection against a cruel and unforgiving world. I find these people to be weak willed and therefore choose not to expose myself. For all I know it could be traumatic to these people.) I often choose areas in which people would be more likely to expect such behavior. Occasionally I go to places that do not expect it, but do not stay long, and I watch the reactions of others. Those who seem in distress is a personal signal of mine in which I would stop and choose to move elsewhere. I stay if they seem shocked, but inappropriately curious. I also find it fun to have the guys with their girlfriends staring while the girlfriend gets mad. I enjoy this fact a lot because I find most women to be delusional in their requirements of love and commitment. The DSM 5 has changed the requirements for exhibitionistic disorder to having experienced distress, or harm to oneself or others. In addition the symptoms such as difficulty controlling urges must be persistant for a minimum of half a year in order for a person affected to be diagnosed. In other words not all exhibitionists have a psychiatric disorder. So there it is. Exhibitionism vs. Exhibitionistic Disorder. I am an exhibitionist, without the requirements to be considered for a diagnosis. The Merck Manual for Health Care Professionals. (2010-2013). Retrieved from http://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/psychiatric_disorders/sexuality_and_sexual_disorders/paraphilias.html?qt=voyeur%20&alt=sh#v1029968 Hypersexual Disorders. (2013). Retrieved from http://www.hypersexualdisorders.com/hypersexual-disorders/dsm-5-understanding-exhibitionistic-disorder/